16th December 2003
Happy Christmas One and All but a Bah Humbug to you.
Well this year I finally succumbed and accepted that I am a lazy git who will always leave Christmas cards to the last minute and therefore, if I want to provide friends with anything more than a signature to prove that I am alive, I will have to write one of these open letter things.
So in true Tyler style here goes…..
The year has gone quickly, too quickly for it to have actually been a complete year. I am getting more bald and the children are sucking the life force out of me even more quickly than time was doing on its own. To recap the children are: Harriet (23rd May 2000) and James (18th Feb 2002) the birthdays are there both to remind me and perhaps to get you to send presents. If you do, then I won`t have to buy so many, as this is the next thing I have noticed this year - a family could teach Dracula about extracting blood. I am now working in a paid and respectable position in Unilever but even though the money is transferred into the account, it only has time to wave before it is dragged out again by all the bills and other necessities of life. I mean, how many pairs of shoes can a child go through in 1 year? - it`s a conspiracy - Clarks and Startrite could design shoes that can be expanded or something but oh no, they know that sticking to the old designs means that daddy has to cough up for at least 4 pairs a year. Come the revolution Shoe designers will be up against the wall.
However, I am enjoying being a father and the odd occasion when Harriet turns to me and says ?I love you daddy` more than makes up for the times that: she screams at me (every night); tells me to get out of the car and walk (most times when we`re in the car); or simply hits, prods or kicks me with something (when she is conscious). James doesn`t yet talk very well, probably because he`s realised that pointing and screaming will more than convince anybody in the vicinity to pass him what he wants. But they are both Angels underneath it all and after Christmas they will be available to the highest bidder on E-bay.
We have nearly finished the house now - we will have been in it 3 years in May. It would have been done sooner only we let Sharon choose the decoration and fashions are just so fleeting these days that by the time she`s made her mind up on a particular scheme it's already passé. Still - this has saved me money not having to buy curtains etc and the children have got used to using old sheets as curtains.
We went to Florida in April to visit Mousevitch, which was as joyous as I expected. People tell you that it is for the children - well which children did they have in mind, the children of the village of the damned <Damned.html>? If you're remotely interested then we have around 5 hours of video you can sit through. Haven`t decided what to do next year but if I get my way it will be a small villa somewhere exotic like Widnes.
Harriet started `school` in September, 2 hours every morning only, but it gets her out of the house and stops her drinking too late in the evenings. I am a bit concerned though that she only seems to be getting Christmas cards from boys - is there something I should know?
Other highlights of the year….Sharon took the children to her mothers for a long weekend in August and I got to lie in till 11:30 without being disturbed. Umm…that`s it I think.
Well the page is nearly gone and as I`m too mean or thick…your choice, to print more than one, I`ll be going. However, I would say that we`d love to see you if you can make it to Wales and we always have a spare bed (at reasonable rates) - Harriet and James don`t use theirs, they hang from the ceiling.
Before I go, Sharon has read this and says that I sound like a penny pinching depressive, so some cherry stuff to leave you with - it will soon be spring and we can save money by turning off the central heating.
Love RAT and family.
